Roll the Dice

Some people are gamblers. We have friends who make regular trips to the boats, along with the occasional pilgrimage to Las Vegas.
And some people are not.
I count myself among the not-a-gambler types. The idea of putting spending money on a horse race or a scratch-and-win ticket makes my skin crawl. One time, on a vacation trip through the Southwest, we had to stop and get a picture of me putting money into a slot machine in Las Vegas. It needed to be recorded for the unbelieving eyes of my friends and relatives. Because this is something I would never, ever do.
Usually.
Not so much any more. In fact, a couple of days ago I found swinging a hard left in u-turn against oncoming traffic--solely to make it to the convenience store on time.
"Do you have a dollar?" Mike had asked on the cell phone, as I was returning from errands.
"Well...Maybe," I said suspiciously. I remembered that there was, indeed, just one dollar floating in my billfold. I wasn't parting with it without a fight, though.
"Go buy a Powerball ticket. The payoff is huge."
Powerball? Boo-yah. I'm there.
See, the financial advisers will tell you that the lotto and powerball and all those various forms of gambling are just state-designed ways to soak the poor. The odds are so stacked against winning that only the mouth-breathers among us would fall for it, they say.
I used to think that, too. But now...huhhh....huhhhh...huhhh...Just call me Dumbo.
A lot of things in my world don't work the way they're supposed to these days. For instance: If you're careful and save your money, you won't eat dog food when you retire. If you watch expenses and do things yourself, you'll have a little left for fun in the future. If you're a hard-working, conscientious employee...well, we won't go there.
It doesn't seem to matter what I do. Someone else is going to get our money anyway. So why not be optimistic? Why not put something down on the fantasy of winning big at Powerball? If I'm going to be cheated, at least I got that much. It's a dollar I didn't spend being gouged by the gas company or the grocery store.
It was raining as I pulled up to JB's One Stop. There were so many cars, I had to go around to a weedy spot in the back lot. I waited in line with my dollar. Then I decided, "No. If I'm going to buy a Powerball ticket, I'll be more likely to win if I put all my money into it."
So I scraped together ten dimes and bought two tickets.
The next day, we checked the numbers.
Nope. Not a single one.
But it felt kind of good, anyway. Take that, Man! Maybe I'll put all my money into gambling from now on, instead of paying my bills like a good citizen.
Well, it's Friday, and if there's one thing I know, it's that alcohol and blogging don't mix. So I'm going to stop now. Happy weekend!