Don't ya get it?

Today's subject is a cosmic joke, and I'll get to that in a minute. First, though, a video that brightens my day and, I hope, yours, if you haven't already seen it. Frankly, there's just not enough art done in the medium of sheep.




Anyway, on to the joke.
I've been thinking some more about the Deepak Chopra book. (I cannot believe I'm saying this.) And it strikes me that I have been the subject of a huge cosmic joke this past week.
When I started this blog, the idea was to look at all the bad stuff happening out there--the stock market, the unemployment--and match it up with traditional self help literature. The huge dissonance between the two would provide me with miles of material. I'd have a few laughs and perhaps make a few bucks off ads to buy a stove.
As for the pessimism...I did want to quit being so negative, in a way. When you can't convince yourself that the years spent raising kids were worth it, you've crossed some kind of line that was never meant to be crossed. But I knew if I quit being a pessimist, I'd miss the satisfaction of always being right.

So I decided to try and have it both ways. I would lament about my minuscule problems and fears, while sniping at the silliness and hypocrisy that is the self help industry. All the while, I'd be safe on my blogger's perch--delivering judgement and snarkiness from above it all. (Snarkiness always sells, doesn't it?)
In short, I'd be like many in the blogosphere: Grotesque and alone in the dark hours on end, spewing gibberish and leaving everything they touch reeking in malodorous slime.


Then came the big joke. Financial crisis. Uncertain future. For real, not just in my imagination. A cutback--better than a layoff in some ways. Worse in others.
Suddenly, an attitude of detached irony is no longer an option.

I've had a week to deal with it. I've trembled. I've walked in the dark netherworld of attack writing. I've stayed awake worrying. And now that that week is done, I find the experience has been...liberating.

Really. Deepak was right about the whole fear thing. It is an illusion. The bad thing is not nearly so bad as the fear of it was. Now, at least, there are actions that can be taken to save ourselves. I've even stopped checking the stock market, so that must mean some healing is taking place.

I doubt I'll ever become the caricature of an optimist that so infects the writings for sales reps. I'll never be able to jump out of bed, fling open a window and scream, "This is the best day ever! I feel happy, healthy and terrific!" Because that's just not me.
I'll never stop being a smart-ass, probably. But the kiln fires of this week have wrought some kind of change. I am, at least some hours of the day, not afraid.
So bring it, Cosmic Joke God!