Kowabunga!

Brain wave therapy is supposed to help me with my positive attitude problem. This I know from the claims on the web site of Kelly Howell. But after several hearings of the tape Positive Thinking, I wasn't feeling much different. I still had my rollercoaster emotions. I still woke up an hour early some mornings with cynicism and dread.
So I began to wonder if I was doing something wrong.
I went back to Howell's web site and as it turned out, yes. Yes I was.
My error had to do with Track 2. This track is the special track. It needs to be experienced on headphones, Ms. Howell says.
Aha!
So the next day, I set up my headphone listening experience.

I'll describe it in a second. But first a pause for a quick clarification. Most of the things I'm trying to improve my outlook are done because they sound like fun and might give me a good chuckle. Brain wave therapy falls into this category--because it sounds so crazy. But there is a reason to take it a little bit seriously.
The brain waves in question for this CD are theta waves. These are the type of waves said to be most active just as a person is most relaxed--in meditation, just before sleep and hypnosis. And since there's a lot of research out there suggesting meditation and hypnosis work, that's reason enough to put skepticism on temporary hold.

But enough academia. On to the therapeutic experience.
The headphone setup at our house is not what you'd call maximal for a brain wave tape. We do have phones, yes, but the cord is short. Ever since our recliner fell apart (and we didn't replace it) there's been no seat near enough. So my therapy had to take place on the floor next to the stereo.
I got myself set up with a pillow and some Flamin' Hot Cheetos and fired up the CD player.
Track 2, like the first one, starts out with a low, growly somewhat pulsating sound. Have you ever been on a large boat? A car ferry, perhaps? This just like what you get standing above the engines.
The low sound went on a bit, soon overlayered with some higher frequencies that were more in the form of traditional music. I decided to stop eating the Cheetos, since my crunching interefered with the sounds.
I turned up the bass until the engine thrumming began to feel like one of those massage chairs at Sharper Image (how I miss that store). The higher instrument began to play gently up and down my spine.
Ahhh. My spine...I began to feel that loose, silly feeling, just like I do when trying not to fall asleep during the commercial breaks of the Colbert Report.
From somewhere far away I heard a voice.
"Mom, who's your favorite sexiest celebrity?"
Huh? I cracked open my eyes. My daughter stood a few feet away.
"Mmmff. Go away. Brain waves." Damn Internet.
Back into the music. I tried to let myself sink in. Then the delightful bass sound abruptly cut completely out.
"The rest of us can hear this." It was my husband, turning the knob that silences the tape to the regular speakers.
I sat up instantly, trying to squelch the white-hot rage. Then flipped the knob back.
No chance, amigo. Must have my bass.
They left me alone after that and I sank back in. Higher frequencies came and went. And then...a human voice singing. "Ahh." Or something like that.
I felt a sensation on my neck. A pulling across my throat. I reached up...the headphone wire. The cat was playing with the headphone wire.
I waved her away. No matter what they say about pets and happiness, you have to watch out. Because cats will try to strangle you in your sleep.
A few minutes later the track ended. My arms and legs were so heavy, they could barely move. I had to wipe some drool off the side of my mouth.
Did it work? Who knows? Kelly (I call her Kelly now) says I need to listen every day for 4-6 weeks. But it really doesn't matter.
Because me likee.

This music reminded me somewhat of Continuum, by Vangelis. Here's a sample:

Want to try brain wave therapy here? Here's a YouTube clip: