Full Lotus

Every so often, someone runs a story titled "(Choose your number) steps to a happier life," or "X things you can do to improve your attitude," etc., etc. They usually say the same things, so I skim over them, searching for anything that seems especially true that I might be able to apply to my life.
MSN Health and Fitness ran such a story this week, promoted on my home page because, face it, they've been watching what I click. They know.
The 5 Paths to Happiness by Steven Melemis, contained the usual stuff: Expect change, prepare for change, identify things to change. All predictable advice in this layoff-crazy era.
But there, embedded in the section about "making room for change" was an something that struck me. Melemis said learning to relax was perhaps the most important coping technique.

When you’re tense, you tend to do what’s familiar and wrong instead of what’s new and right. Stress is an obstacle to change because when you are tense, your ego and fears get in the way....
There are many coping skills you need to be happy. If you learn them all but don’t learn how to relax, you will still find it hard to change, because when you’re tense you will continue to repeat what’s familiar and wrong.

On the other hand, if you learn only one new coping skill—how to relax—you’ll still be happier, because everything is easier when you’re relaxed. If there is anything else you need to change, you’ll see it more easily and deal with it more effectively when you’re more relaxed.

And it's true, as any musician who's ever dealt with stage fright knows. Once the nerves kick in, it's like white noise in your brain. Muscles knot up, you can't hear yourself and back you go, straight to the very thing you've worked months to correct.
So it's true, yes. But the trouble is, what do you do about it.
How do you fix something like this? When your life resembles a series of 40-foot waves and you're riding an inner-tube, how do you not feel panic? Panic, I'd say, is the only reasonable reaction.
Sadly, the article doesn't provide an answer to that.The author just trots out all the usual things we've read before about retraining yourself to think positively, letting go of the past, using breathing techniques, yoga and meditation. Sigh.

So what can I use out of all that? I do yoga. I try hard to be positive and not dwell on bad things. I meditate. But hmmmm. Maybe I'm doing it all wrong.
Usually, when you listen to a yoga instructor or meditation tapes, there's a huge emphasis on calm, quiet images to quiet your breathing and heart rate. Maybe that's backwards. Maybe what I really need to do is imagine something dreadful and then try to breathe and relax to it. That way I can practice how to relax under pressure.
So all right. This week, I'm going to imagine myself in full lotus on the tracks, with a six-engine Union Pacific coal train bearing down on me. And I'm going to breath in...breathe out.....