Have fun...later?

One interesting thing I read during the holidays was a piece in the New York Times about the wackos who routinely put off pleasurable things.
The piece, by science writer John Tierney, analyzed the odd thought processes of the warped people who, when faced with the prospect of a treat of some kind, put it off and put it off until the food has rotted or the coupon has expired or the spa has gone out of business and its owners have died or left the country.
Say, for instance, you have a gift certificate for a free full-body massage and you're all excited because you've never had one and you're really really tense and so this massage is the answer to everything you've been looking for in life. And you practically leap up in the air when you get it for Christmas it's so good and you put the precious certificate in a special place where you can look at it every day...after day, after day.....until....the masseuse goes bankrupt, sells the table and essential oils and her building goes dark.
Or, maybe you've gotten a gift card to a coffeehouse that will just pay for a large cup full of sweet, sweet caffeine, maybe the kind with little designs in the foam on top that you love. And you put it in your billfold where it will be sure to be handy when you need it. You could stop by any time to redeem it with no trouble. And there it sits, still, until you get it out a year later. Is there any money left on this, you wonder, or is this one I spent all but 50 cents? If I ask at the counter, it will be embarrassing to admit I don't have enough additional money to buy the latte. So...maybe next time.
Or maybe you've bought a book by Nick Hornby, one of your favorite authors and...
Oh My God. This article is describing me. I am one of these hopeless sickos.
But why, Roxie? Why? Why not take the enjoyment offered, when someone else has already done the hard work of shopping and paying for it?
In the Times article, psychologists theorized that people like us are too focused on the ideal moment. We're waiting for later, when we have more time. Or maybe we're waiting to find the perfect moment.
I only wish I had that rosy an outlook.
No, indeed. There's one possibility Tierney and his experts didn't explore. Maybe there are some people out there so far down the pessimism well that they don't dare spend that pleasurable moment. Because once it's gone, there may never be another good thing to take its place.
Tomorrow may bring unemployment. Bankruptcy. Disease uncovered by health insurance. You may never have enough money for a latte or a massage or a book again. That little coupon in your purse symbolizes that last ray of sunshine you may ever experience in post-plutocratic America. Tomorrow, you'll be scrubbing toilets and ruing the day you wasted all that money on a college education. And what would someone in your lowly new social class need with a latte or a massage or a book anyway?
And, if we want to go a bit darker still (and yes, let's, since its the new year) we can dig deeper. A lot of us can't help feeling guilty about some of the things we've suffered the past year. What stupid mistake of mine brought it on? What could I have said that I didn't say or done that I didn't do? Given that, do I really deserve a free sub?
Just reading back on that last paragraph is...well...it's making me a little uneasy about myself and my mental health. Who would put such a thing out there in public like that? What kind of person just cannot stop judging herself? (!)
Indeed, a certain darkness seems to be creeping upon me these past few months, and I've got to rid myself of it before my thinking becomes so fuzzy that I won't be able to see my way out of the coming difficulties.
So maybe Tierney and his experts are right. No more hoarding up rewards for the future. No more saving up til I deserve it.
Screw it. From now on I live like a banker.