Take a whack

I can hear the frenzied chopping as I sit waiting for afternoon piano to begin.
Out in the driveway, only a few feet away from this window, Mike is hacking to death an item that has been weighing us down for three or four years now. Ahhh, listen to him out there whaling away. It does my heart good.
Violent destruction is this family's time-honored way of celebrating end of life issues. Specifically the end of life of selected furniture, small appliances and even old sidewalk.
What? You've never dismembered an old recliner that insulted you by falling apart at every opportunity? You should try it. It's a real mood brightener.
Yes, I suppose we could take the item down to the Salvation Army. But any self respecting charity would take one look at our old toaster or dining room chair and give us a good tongue lashing, because really, what do we mean by bringing in trash like this? Should not the poor who shop at thrift stores have some dignity?
Today, we're destroying an ugly arm chair. We picked up this chair, plus a couch in the same nubby beige fabric, plus a couple of lamps that actually were quite nice--at a church next door that had put them out on it's lawn with a sign. "Free."
This free chair was converted into a sort of "open motif" closet by our daughter, who kept most of her clothes draped over it. But time passes. Our daughter is moving into her brothers' old, better room. The death of the chair was part of the deal.
It was always a happy day when we can get out the sledge hammer and take some whacks at an offensive household possession. Many's the time I would say something like, "This toaster oven is about shot," and see my son's face light up as he slid off his chair to get his brother. "Guess what!? Mama says the toaster oven is about shot!" And then off they'd go to look for the safety glasses.
Some would say this is symptomatic of profound rage, but we prefer to see it as a celebration of our superiority to the appliance that has plagued us for years with it's ugliness and failure to work properly.
There are businesses (Smash-n-Shatter, Lee's Summit) that cater to this urge. So, hmmm, maybe what we need to do is set up a booth in the drive, like a lemonade stand. One whack at the chair, $1. Hurl abuse at the stove, 50 cents.
Life and death power over malevolent appliances: Priceless.