We'll meat again...

Nothing like the holidays bearing down on you full speed to whip up the stress. With less than 10 days to shop and with nothing bought and an austerity budget that would make British PM David Cameron wince, I'm feeling it, baby, I'm feeling it.
So today I'm taking the only logical approach--a post dedicated entirely to meat.
We'll begin with news of a recent study that has found that apparently, looking at cooked meat causes men to relax. The authors started with the opposite hypothesis--that the ingrained competitive nature of men and the ancient hunter reflexes would cause them to become tense, possibly sizing each other up as to who would win in a squabble for that rib-eye steak. (Well, that last part was just a little imagineering on my part. But they did expect the opposite of relaxation.)
Here's Stephen Colbert's hilarious take on it from a few shows ago:



The Colbert Report: Cheating Death - Calming Meat Goggles & the iThrone
Uploaded by ComedyCentral. - Click for more funny videos.

There seems to be a weird obsession going on with meat right now. On the Food Network, which used to be all about cooking, we have instead a parade of portly guys touting the biggest greasiest meat piles they can find. Guy Fieri routinely hunches over mammoth burgers and pronounces them "money." And over at Man v. Food, the host (whose name I forget) pounds down every gross restaurant eating challenge he can find, including one called a "Manimal" in Maine that consisted of an eight-patty cheeseburger, two hot dogs, fries, coleslaw, large soda and a milkshake with coffeecake mixed in.
Apparently the hunting reflex has vanished, but they're still trying to symbolically dominate when it comes to eating.
Then there's this:

Yes, just in time for the holidays, a bacon and sausage creche, with the mini-weenie Baby Jesus lying in a bed of sauerkraut. This is...well...yeah.
Then again, if you're worried your child might grow up to be a dreaded vegetarian, you can start him/her off right with this product:
No, this is not a joke. It is--or was--a real product that, according to the Internets, boasted four slices of bacon per scoop. It was introduced by J & D's, makers of Baconnaise and other bacon flavored items. The company quit selling the baby formula, according to the Huffington Post. But no matter, they got the desired publicity.

Meanwhile, there's meat as fashion.
Lady Gaga got all the attention for her meat dress, but she's not the only one. It took only a couple of clicks to find these and other interesting meat clothes. Add to cart?




Feeling relaxed yet, guys? Because I think it's time to RUN for your LIVES.