Optimism on my foodie agenda

I sometimes feel guilty, on grocery day. Times are hard and money's tight. Yet in my cart I have brown eggs, hamburger and chicken from Good Natured Family Farms--a regional company. Clinking around in the cart is my empty, returnable milk bottle from Shatto, which I'll return for another half gallon of skim that isn't much less than a whole gallon in a plastic jug.
Despite our big pay cut, I haven't been able to let go of these vestiges of better times. But sometimes I hear a nagging voice. "Spoiled. Selfish. Pretentious. Rich and silly." And let's not forget "elitist."
I started buying these products gradually. First came the ground meat. There had been an E coli outbreak and also some talk about mad cow disease. The smaller supplier would be less risky, I decided, because the ground meat would come from fewer cattle.
I started buying the milk because it was fun to buy in a glass bottle, but continued as I read more on bovine growth hormone. The chickens just tasted better. But then I started reading about conditions in large factory chicken farms. The free range eggs followed.
I didn't mind paying a little more. We had the budget for it then.
Now, though, I beat myself up a little each time I put one of those items into the cart. We decidedly don't have money to splurge on higher grocery bills. We need tires and a front-end job. What kind of a sissy would sacrifice her budget because of unfounded worries about food safety?
Then came the recent egg recall, and suddenly my concerns don't seem so unfounded and my higher-end groceries seem like money well spent.
The past decade has brought a steady stream of bad news from the food companies. I started buying these products to regain just a little control over what we eat. We started gardening long ago for many of the same reasons. Except gardening saves you money. I always figured the savings offset the higher price of meat and dairy.
But it got me thinking: Does this response make me an optimist or a pessimist?
I always came down on the pessimistic side before. All that thinking about food safety. The recalls and poisonings are just temporary aren't they? Just fleeting blips on the radar field of an all-wholesome food system.
But today I'd argue the opposite. Buying better quality makes me an optimist. I am following the manly man American tradition of solving my own problems and guiding the invisible hand of the marketplace with my own God-given pocketbook. Buyer beware. If more people join me, the food supply really will get safer. And maybe the earth will get a little cooler.
So I'll continue to spend a few dollars more on more wholesome locally grown products, because today it doesn't seem so much like a frill. In fact, quite the opposite. It's a whole lot less expensive than the doctor.