Happy Holidays to All

There's no denying it. Sometimes what makes me happiest and most optimistic is not to blog. The pressure of even a self-imposed deadline--and the guilt of missing it again and again--are detracting from my efforts to savor the warm fuzziness of this time of year.
So I'm taking an officially sanctioned break. Back in a week or so. Merry New Year and Happy Christmas.
Before I go, here's an item I found in the London Evening Standard about obesity and Santa. Normally I applaud every effort to exercise, but this is pretty weird. It sounds like one of those news hoaxes people are so fond of, but there are quite a few comments and no indication it's fake. So enjoy!

Feeling the pain

Just in time for the holidays, the New York Times--my perennial cheerer-upper on the economy--has a new poll on the emotional and financial toll of unemployment.
Among the results: Almost half of the unemployed polled have suffered depression or anxiety and 4 in 10 notice behavioral changes in their children.
Although this was primarily about people who had lost their jobs, the Times did give a nod to the underemployed (e.g. those with huge wage cuts of those forced to become part-time workers) toward the end of the piece. Another poll, done at the same time with CBS, holds that 3 in 10 people have had wage cuts the past year. It didn't mention their mental state.
There's no question that people who have completely lost their jobs have it much worse than those still employed. But with a big enough cut in pay and benefits, we still feel a kinship with those other struggling families.
How close is our experience to theirs? Let's take the poll and find out:
Question one: Have you taken money out of savings, including retirement accounts, to make ends meet? That's complicated. After six years of college expenses, we didn't have any savings left. And since the cutback, we can't afford contributions to the 401K any more. But so far we haven't raided it. So our answer is...kinda yes. Poll results--60 percent yes.
Question two: Have you borrowed money from family members or friends? No, although they've kindly offered. National results--53 percent yes.
Question three: Are you more stressed than usual, less stressed or is your stress level no different? Are you freaking kidding me? Of course we're more stressed! National results--69 percent more stressed.
Question four: Have you had any trouble sleeping? Yes, quite a bit back when it was news. Not so much any more. National results--55 percent yes.
Question five: Have you experienced emotional or mental health issues, like anxiety or depression? Not sure how they define this. But no, nobody's sought any medical treatment. National results--48 percent yes.
Question six: How often have you felt embarrassed or ashamed about being out of work? Here's where the toxic bloggers who ridicule Mike have actually done us all a big favor. They've deflected the depression that might have set in, and caused our extended family and friends (and even a few strangers) to rally around us. Any embarrassment or shame has been quickly converted to anger and resolve. Thanks, guys. National results--46 percent some or most times.
Question seven: Have you cut back on doctor's visits or medical treatments or not? We're fortunate to still have health insurance. Even so, there's still a deductible. So when a dog bit Mike's leg a few weeks ago, and it wouldn't heal right, he stubbornly resisted my urgings to go. And since eyeglasses no longer are covered, I find myself Super-gluing my broken ones. But we'll still go when we really need to. National results--54 percent yes.
Question eight: Are you currently without some form of health care coverage? No. National results--47 percent yes.
I don't see a sample question about behavioral changes in children. But I can attest that financial strain has caused a lot more dust-ups and tension with my daughter. One way kids do their fact finding about just how bad the money situation is, is to keep asking for stuff and see where parents draw the line. But if you're on the parental end, you get a little dragged down by constantly having to say "no."
So yeah, not much to be happy about if you're thinking about the unemployed and underemployed this Christmas.
But there are a couple of good things out of this poll. First, I'm grateful that the Times is keeping this in front of people. It would be so much easier to just go with the flow, declare the recession over and forget about the people who have been dumped off the boat.
And second, a part of the poll asks who people blame for all this economic misery. The favorite: Former Pres. George W. Bush with 26 percent of the vote, banks with 12 percent, job outsourcing 8 percent, politicians 8 percent. Only 3 percent blamed Obama.
Now it's time to get to work on the current administration and get tough on those big money boys.

God Wars

Weird, how everything I'm reading this winter seems to come back around to religion.
First there was The Family: The Secret Fundamentalism at the Heart of American Power, by Jeff Sharlett. Then a Dan Brown book, The Lost Symbol. Brown always seems to be writing about religion and science, in one way or another.
Most recently, I finished The Evolution of God, by Robert Wright.
Add to that the recently announced efforts by conservatives to rewrite the "liberal bias" out of the Bible, and you have a really strange convergence of thoughts about religion in the news lately.
What on earth is going on?
On the one hand, Brown's immensely popular novel (it set a new sales record for adult fiction) is all about the New-Agey sounding mystery behind a Masonic secret, which is that people have within themselves unrealized and god-like powers. This, he backs up by citing research in to the mind powers by the Institute of Noetic Sciences.
On the other side are clandestine fundamentalist Christians (I think they call themselves that) who work behind the scenes to ensure their members access to the highest reaches in the American power system. They seem to have a creepy affinity for citing Hitler and other despots (as good examples of how far strong leaders can go with the right use of power) and for getting the US to support some of the worst tyrants on the planet.
Out there somewhere else is Andy Schlafly (son of anti-feminist Phyllis) who leads an effort to man up the Bible by getting rid of gender-inclusive language, eliminating the story of the adulteress ("Let him cast the first stone." That one.) And emphasizing the free market parables. He fits right in with an increasing right-wing tendency to wipe out anything pro-feminine in the Scriptures. I've come across some of these guys on the radio, preaching how God is a vengeful, warrior like god and Jesus has been portrayed as too gentle.
Only after I read Wright's book did any of this begin to make sense. The Evolution of God is an interesting, if somewhat slow read looking at the order and translations of the Bible and Koran and matching them with what was going on in history at the moment. On the way, he also looks at pre-Abrahamic gods and hunter-gatherer gods.
After you take a moment to ponder how breathtakingly difficult a task this would be, you begin to understand how the different kinds of God in the Bible (vengeful, forgiving, etc.) match the different political needs of the times. Even the names--Elohim, Yahweh--seemed to be subject to the political fortunes of the worshippers, according to Wright.
The fundamentalists and the New Agers are doing the same thing people have always done when societies change. They're recasting God to meet society's new needs. God is evolving.
In the Family's case, anxiety over globalization has caused these "Christians" to seek power above all else, securing America's god as the primary god of all the earth. Ancient Babylonians would be proud.
In the New Ager's case, intelligent people are trying to reconcile belief in unknown forces with facts presented by scientific research.
And as for the muscular Christians, it seems like mostly push-back from the anxiety brought on by seeing women's fortunes rise in industrialized countries in the past 50 years.
I don't know why, exactly, but this makes me feel better. The bellicose nature of organized religion the past few years has driven me away from church attendance. Every kind of optimism advice tells me you need some kind of faith to keep up your attitude. Yet here I am, feeling more like an outsider to my religion.
Maybe what I need instead is just a different god. Just like everyone else, apparently.

The third quarter

There's been a lot of jubilation since the jobs numbers last weekend showed a loss of way less than predicted. That, plus the rallying stockmarket, has caused some people to wonder if the capital Great capital Recession is on its way out.
We can only pray so, though there are those who argue that we'll have another trough later on. It's early, yet, to get too happy while there are still plenty of people suffering.
Our own personal recession is now in its ninth month. So maybe it's time to reflect a little on the changes we've undergone since that first traumatic pay-cut news on Friday the 13th of last March.

Our finances--As the family's checkbook guru and resident worst-case-scenario imaginer, I was prostrate with worry when I heard the news of a 33 percent pay cut and cuts in benefits to part-time. Trust me, I didn't even want to get out of bed.
But so far, most of my biggest fears have not come true. We had to put a couple of college loans on deferment for a year, and that will be a problem if things haven't improved by April. But we have little other debt, can still make our house payments and buy groceries. We've foregone any birthday or anniversary presents for us adults, and we've had to dip into savings sometimes, for appliance or car emergencies. But not often.
To pay for bigger things--like registration, books and other fees for public high school, or a camping trip to Michigan--we've sold stuff. The lumber left from our home's previous owner. The boys' bunk beds. The old weight machine. There's not much left worth selling for next year, though.
We haven't been able to afford to contribute to our savings. So far, we're just happy to hold the line and keep our cushion from drifting completely away.

Career-wise--Make no mistake about it. This has been a painful, gray plod. But in one respect, it has been good for us. Our desire to have fun again, become upwardly mobile (and give our daughter a college education) has caused us to cast about for other ways to make money. In the process, we've both gained skills that will make us more salable once the job market improves. We have a vegetable gardening book we're proud of. We have improved our networks and our on-line skills. And I don't think any of this would have happened without the kick in the butt provided by the downsizing. Hopefully, we'll end up with more options once things start to recover.

Emotionally--There have been some ups and (horrific) downs. But on the whole, the downs are less frequent and not as bad as they were. I no longer stay awake for hours with worry, nor do I cry quietly into my ears during the meditation time at yoga. Possibly it's because I've accepted a depressing new "normal." But more likely, it's the feeling that we're beating them. By refusing to use the credit card, by keeping up the house payments, by refusing to buy crap "budget meals" at fast food places, we are beating all those hotshots on Wall Street who have come to think of American working people as stupid, weak, and not deserving of decent pay.
(Hey, I'll still admit to some anger issues.)

What's worked for me so far--Funny thing about the aforementioned downs. Usually, when I'm having one of my crappy-attitude headaches, I'll ask myself a question. "Did you exercise lately?" And know what? The answer is always "no." I hardly ever get depressed on a day that I've run, lifted weights or swam laps. Just sayin'.
As for all the New Agey stuff...Yeah, the laughing yoga and brain waves and affirmations help. A little. Maybe for a few hours.
But you can't argue with numbers. And by my scorecard, meditating on positive outcomes has the best results, hands down. In just a couple of short weeks doing this as I'm falling asleep, there have been four--or maybe five, depending on how you count--good things that have happened.
Coincidence? Probably. But you never know...

Odds and Ends

It's been too busy to collect much for a blog post the past week. So here is a little mish-mash of things that have been blowing through my head but never took off to become blog posts:

The movies
One of the best things about Thanksgiving weekend is that it's an opportunity to sink low into the couch and watch movies until your muscles start turning to sugar.
I'm always reading how extended laughing is a cure for all sorts of things, as well as good exercise. If that's true, I've discovered a cure for cancer and a possible substitute for ultra-marathon training in Troll II.
My eldest son brought this over to watch after the big meal. I can't remember laughing so hard at anything in...oh...nine months or so. This was released as a completely straight-faced horror movie, but since has become known as one of the worst movies ever made. It is hilarious. Seriously, my gut hurt afterward from the helpless laughter. Here's a clip:




I understand there's now a documentary out about the making of Troll II, called Best Worst Movie. Unfortunately, it is not playing in Kansas City yet.
A less funny (though somewhat cheesy) film we saw on TCM was The Devil and Daniel Webster, circa 1941. This is a black and white bit of fluff about a down-on-his-luck farmer (Jabez Stone) who sells his soul to the Old Scratch in return for seven years of prosperity--after which time he would be expected to pay up by going quietly to hell.
I don't want to spoil it for anybody so I won't tell the plot. But it had one moment that spoke to me.
Shortly after Stone got his gold from the devil, he strutted in to see the bank officer who held his loan. When the smug banker started to make noises about how he couldn't give Stone another break, the farmer started flicking pieces of gold at him. Take this. And this. How do you like me now, sucka?
And I caught myself thinking, "Gee, it might be worth selling your soul to the devil to be able to do that just once."

Prayer and meditation
The name of the farmer in the movie above reminded me of The Prayer of Jabez, an inspirational book by Dr. Bruce Wilkinson. I read this a few years ago, at the urging of a friend who, I guess, noticed that I needed a bit more spiritual vitality. For a while, this book was all the rage, and also a little controversial. It cites a somewhat obscure prayer (1 Chronicles 4:9-10) of a man named Jabez asking God to bless him and keep him from evil. Wilkinson made self-help prominence by urging people to pray this every day and watch God's power transform their lives.
This little book generated miles and miles of type (here's an example) from people worried about one thing or another. Wilkinson degraded the verse and turned the prayer into a superstitious chant. And isn't it bad and dangerous to pray for our own blessing? Shouldn't we be praying instead for others? Etc, etc.
Which is why I don't go in so much for prayer any more. It's all the self editing and worrying that I'm not doing the right form. Did I ask according to God's will? In Jesus' name? How can I be sure my prayer isn't just selfishness?
Bleah.
I'd much rather meditate, as I have been doing lately, on things I'd like to change but have no control over. It's nice to be able to just run good outcomes of these various problems through my mind and let myself feel the warmth and comfort. It probably doesn't do any good at all.
Or does it? I have to say that, shortly after I started this, two--no, make that three--good things have happened. And these are things that I had no hand in doing.
So maybe it's worth it.
Or again, maybe that's just old Scratch playing a trick on me.

Running
I've been working on changing the way I run, after reading Born to Run: A Hidden Tribe, Superatheletes, and the Greatest Race the World has Never Seen, by Christopher McDougall. McDougall writes about a Mexican tribe of long distance runners (50-mile, 100-mile runs) and how their gait differs from that of modern runners in expensive running shoes. The shoes, in fact, can cause more harm than good, he claims.
But it's more than just a book about running. McDougall makes a case that the running done by this tribe also brings about a sense of joy, equality, peace and good health.
So, okay. I'm game. I can't afford the fancy "foot glove" running shoes, but I can try and change my gait. The last two times out, I've tried to run the first mile more on the front of my food and not my heel, concentrating on kicking my feet backwards rather than reaching forward heel first.
After a couple of days of very sore calves, today was just a great day. I felt I was flying around that hated indoor track. It was even euphoric, for just a couple of laps.
So maybe there's something to it.
Now to find some chia seeds.